“Life is a Dance” Workshop
Introduction
No
partner dance experience required. Both novice and
experienced dancers will benefit from the workshop. We will
focus on elements of partner dance, without the necessity
of integrating all the parts.
Partner dance, when approached socially with a healthy,
non-competitive attitude, is both a practical tool, and a
perfect metaphor, for learning to move in harmony in all
our relationships. When we learn to move through life, open
to the possibilities that await us, centered and balanced
in our bodies, and playful in our spirit (all attributes
that are nurtured in partner dance), we can respond more
creatively to life’s challenges, and be more present
and effective in all our relationships.
Partner
dancing may well be the ONLY social activity where males
and females, of all ages, within a diversity of belief
systems, can collaborate creatively – while actually
touching without pretext. This is a significant
accomplishment!!
Important
definition:
The partner dance we are discussing is purely social,
non-competitive, just for the fun of it, playful, and
improvisational – in contrast to competitive ballroom
(currently dominating television and movies), which is
usually choreographed, has specific rules for body
position, reveres perfection, and focuses on winning and
losing. Our approach to partner dance is one of partner
equality.
“We open our arms to our partner, establishing
our frame for dance, and our frame of reference to the
world in general.”
Fred Strong, dancer - Whidbey Island.
This workshop will provide exercises and dialog to nurture
both attitudes and skills that just might bring more joy
into your life.
Underlying
Concepts
We have three choices (metaphorically speaking) in how we
move through life - to fight, disengage, or dance. This
workshop explores the most fun (and functional) option
– to dance.
To dance is not about getting the steps right, but what
happens when the steps don’t go right. This workshop
explores the process of transforming screw-ups into magic
(lemons to lemonade).
Partner dances from around the world use only two simple
rhythm patterns, and equally basic partnering techniques.
When we experience this truth with our whole being, not
just our “mind”, we gain a deeper awareness of
ourselves, our intimate partners, and people around the
world. In addition, the act of partner dancing becomes much
less scary and we can more easily understand and integrate
the metaphor in our lives.
Goals
for this workshop
1. To show how we can transform our relationships - and the
world around us - when we become aware of how we hold and
move our body, especially in relation to others.
2. To show how we can have more fun, both as individuals
and in relationship, even when the going gets rough.
3. To establish processes and, most importantly, attitudes
that will allow awareness to develop.
4. To give a deeper context for learning to dance with a
partner. Partner dance is a far more powerful tool for
bringing creativity and joy into our lives and world than
virtually anyone understands.
Structure
of the Day
Since this workshop uses partner dance as a metaphor, about
2/3 of the time will be spent moving, both individually and
with partners. As previously stated, we will be
experiencing elements of dance – without the
necessity of integrating the elements (dancing). Discussion
will take place at reasonable intervals allowing our minds
to get a grasp of the experience.
Lunchtime will include discussion, so please bring a lunch.
There is a refrigerator at the hall if you would like to
keep food cold. Bring water since the hall water is not the
greatest. We will also have bottled water available.
Hypotheses
1. To dance is to be aware of our center, to connect with
music, and move creatively and collaboratively in relation
to another person (and other people on the dance floor.)
Our frame is the way we hold our selves around our center,
and is the means through which we perceive and relate to
the world around us. Our frame is not only physical, but is
how we hold ourselves emotionally and spiritually - our
frame of reference to everything in our life. The approach
to partner dance presented in this workshop provides a
“framework” for understanding these concepts.
2. One reason our world is challenged (environmentally,
politically, and spiritually) is that Masculine and
Feminine (Yin and Yang) are not connected and balanced. The
activity and metaphor of dance (as approached in this
workshop) can shed light on ways of bringing a balanced
connection back into normality.
3. Every person is unique, therefore there is no right way
of moving, and of achieving clarity and understanding. This
diversity is supported and encouraged in this workshop.
4. Every person is important and has something special to
offer the world. The goal when dancing is to nurture
self-expression both with ourselves and with partners.
5. Magic happens when we allow ourselves to play, that is,
enter activities with an open mind and a tolerance for the
unexpected. In other words, in the realm of dance, it might
be wise to allow ourselves and our partners to screw up.
Each “screw up” just might be that a brilliant
idea trying to sneak through.
6. The process of moving in harmony has a learning curve
because we all, especially adults, move through life with
deeply established habits. An important realization
(attitude) is that there is nothing wrong with where we are
in the process. It is simply where we are. Gaining clarity
and accepting where we stand and where we want to go will
help guide our actions and processes as we move forward.
Personal
Stories of Facilitators
The understandings and beliefs that underlie this approach
to life (and dance) come primarily from a regular
enrollment in the School of Hard Knocks. Luckily the school
taskmaster let us to go out to recess and play every once
in a while. It is in this play that intriguing
possibilities have unfolded.
Click on name for more info.
Janice
Eklund
Walter Dill
To Fight, Disengage, or Dance – more
details
We have three choices (metaphorically speaking) in how we
move through life. Each choice has its own specific
attitude and way of moving. We can:
Fight:
The focus is on competition and therefore, conflict. The
motivation for fighting is
fear.
Our culture places significant value in competition. Many
of us are trained to move competitively - practicing hour
after hour to hone our winning skills. In this model, our
neighbors are our rivals. Winning is the priority,
therefore losing is a given. With years of this competitive
training, we often unconsciously use actions and attitudes
that relate to fighting (win-lose), even in our intimate
relationships. Couples, when learning to dance together, or
simply trying to live together, often employ the
competitive (judgmental, critical, aggressive, and passive
aggressive) attitudes passed on to them in this culture.
(At least that is what I did.) This approach to life is not
very effective for creating harmony in relationships.
Disengage:
To give up entirely, to separate one’s self, to avoid
collaboration and relationship. Disengagement is usually
motivated by fear or lack of purpose/direction.
Dance:
Dance is the conscious choice to collaborate playfully, and
move creatively and gracefully through life. The attitude
and intention is to create harmony, beauty, and fun in our
relationships. The knowledge, skills, and awareness that
can be gained from the activity of dancing with a partner
(when done with an open, caring, and non-competitive
attitude) can lead to a profound awareness of how we can
move more creatively in all of our relationships –
and bring about positive changes in our world.
Playful collaboration is the focus of
Life is a Dance.
Music
Middle English, from Old French
musique,
from Latin
mūsica,
from Greek
mousikē (tekhnē),
(art) of the Muses, feminine of
mousikos,
of the Muses, from
Mousa,
Muse
The
unique aspect of dance is its relationship with music.
The derivation of the word "music" literally means
“of the gods." Music is probably the closest
thing to spirit that we can experience physically. The word
itself is “of the gods”. Music emanates from,
and is transformed into dance, by the human body. From
infancy, music inspires movement and dance. It is primal to
human nature. Historically cultures have embedded music and
dance as inseparable elements in their spiritual practices.
Our culture, in contrast, has evolved a significant
disconnect between music and dance.
There are innumerable forms of music and dance that have
evolved from the human spirit. But when you look underneath
the myriad of movements, sounds, and styling a simple truth
is evident - dissonance (conflicting notes) repels, while
harmony attracts and inspires movement.
The
Life is a Dance
workshop evolved from:
•
Twenty five years experience teaching partner dance (the
last 18 of which I have made my living).
• A workshop called Demystify Dance, which I developed
and have led many times over the last decade. This
workshop, focused on the underlying rhythm patterns and
partnering techniques, is an element of the
Life is a Dance
workshop
• A desire to learn from my mistakes, which life has
provided in ample supply, especially in the realm of
relationship.
• An obsession with spending my life doing what I love
to do - which is not just limited to dance.
Life
is a Dance
will provide exercises and dialog designed to nurture the
attitudes and skills that just might bring more joy into
your life.
Basic assumptions in this process:
1.
Life is much simpler than it looks. Our minds tend to over
analyze and confuse, whereas our bodies reveal simple
truths.
2. Nobody is perfect. No matter how “together”
we think we are, there is room for growth.
3. We each are responsible for our lives. We have created
the lives we are living and therefore everything is exactly
as it should be. The question we might ask our selves
is…how do we bring about the changes needed to live
a more healthy, creative, and meaningful life?
4. It is our responsibility to spend our lives doing what
we love to do.
5. The most important person in the room is the person next
to you.
6. Every couple (and relationship) is balanced. That is,
each person’s idiosyncrasies are perfectly balanced
with their partner’s idiosyncrasies.
I fought this idea for much too long of a time, but finally
figured out that how I was trained to move through life
(competitive and aggressive/passive aggressive) did not
bring harmony to my marriage or other relationships.
7.
If we become more centered and self-aware, then our
partners will be able to more easily find their balance.
Therefore, the goal is not to change our partner, but to
become self-aware. Partner dance is a fun bio-feedback
device for finding self-awareness.
8. The only person who truly knows us is our self. The
memory of our “unencumbered self” - the child
within us before it was affected by the issues of adult
life - can become hazy. But it is possible to dust off the
mirror so that we see our self as we are at our core.
Our goal is to help peel away the programming, unconscious
behavior, and habits that we carry in our bodies, so that
we can learn to purely and simply play -creatively, openly,
and consciously with others.
The
Life is a Dance
workshop supports the possibility that peace can actually
exist. It begins by finding peace and playfulness within,
and then with our loved ones, friends, and family, then in
our communities as a whole, and finally the world. We
cannot truly understand a peaceful attitude in the big
world until we can live peacefully in our own bodies and
close relationships.
An invitation:
This workshop (and associated text) is an ongoing process,
which just might be a part of the puzzle to bringing
positive changes into our lives and the world. My belief is
that every person has something important to contribute to
the world. If you feel you can add clarity or content to
this process, please send thoughts and ideas our way.
Walter Dill –
walterdill@whidbey.com
- 360-221-1725